the Joker's Despair
by Xxhikari-no-tenshixX
Summary: Under normal circumstances, Ran and the others would amuse me with their silly antics. But as I tried to pay attention to what they were saying today, I couldn't help but feel that something was amiss. Pairing: Undecided; rated T for language and violence
1. Chapter 1: the Joker

Dear readers,

this is my second time writing for Shugo Chara! In reality, it is my first attempt at writing a MULTI-CHAPTER fanfic for this wonderful anime/manga. (: trust me, I know it will suck since I, -ahem-, am a very bad writier. Horrible grammer, spelling, plot, and vocabulary wise. ^^ But, I'm improving... I think. XP

Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara! in any way! Much to my chagrin. TT~TT If I did, it'd become a Reverse Harem and Kuukai would be head over heels in love with me. (:

P.S. Sorry if Amu seems a little OOC. ___ I'm trying to get her to react the way she normally would, which isn't THAT hard. But I'm sure that when I tried to sound "educated", it ends up making her seem OOC. I apoologize for that, but bear with me. (: I might have done the same with other characters as well, for which, I do apologize for.

Now then, without further ado, read on! But beware, readers, for you have been warned! D

* * *

**+Prologue+**

Distinct water drops sounded from a distance. Starting out slow, they picked up speed like staccato sixteenth notes from a cluttered score. Faint, yet clear sounds of bells resonated, soon after the droplets ceased to exist.

Slowly breaking the water's surface, ripples travelled in ever direction, revealing my face covered by my pink tresses. Rubbing my eyes with renewed vigor, I opened my eyes to observe my surroundings. Stiffly, I rose from the darkness to escape the liquid prison. Before me appeared several mirrors, each beholding an image of myself. Almost like, a part of me. Two gradually faded, leaving five to fill in their place. They started towards me, surrounding me on all sides.

"_What's this?" _I questioned.

As if to answer me, each mirror proceeded to show a would-be self. My would-be selves.

This further confused me.

"_I've only four eggs of the heart..."_

The mirror in front showed an image of , it would appear to be, myself with dazzling beauty. Albeit, a little sad, it would seem. Nevertheless, the figure was charismatic - possessing a smile that would make any heart melt - which was accompanied by a laughter much like the tinkling of bells. Although, if one looked closely enough though, they would realize that it was a facade.

All of it was a mere facade...

While everyone laughs at her wonderful humour and antics, they can't seem to see the sadness within.

"_What is this?"_

Then, almost as suddenly as they had appeared, the mirrors shattered, the fragments disappeared. The dream itself receeded back into the farthest corners of my mind...

"_What could all of his really mean?"_

**+the Joker's Despair+**

_+Chapter One: the Joker+_

_**.:: Begin ::.**_

It all started with a dream on one cold, and eerily silent, autumn day. I awoke in bed, feeling strange. Different, in a good way if possible. Refusing to get out of bed, I tossed and turned to find an appropriate position, so sleep could finally render me useless. It was then that I realized, there was something hard underneath my very being. Almost smooth to the touch, the object in question, without a doubt, had a very odd shape. It took me a moment to reassemble my thoughts, mostly because I never was an early riser. When my thoughts finally came to a conclusion and my heart stopped. I could sense the adrenaline pumping through me, veins pulsating. Replacing the blood that was meant to circulate through my vessel.

_"Oh my god!" _I panicked. _"Someone must have placed a skull in my bed last night!"_

No wait, that can't be it.

Realizing that the only way I could actually find out what it was, which was by ways of the ancient, I reached under my abdomen and felt around until my hands finally came into contact with an unidentifiable object. My hands instinctively closed around it. Drawing in a deep breath, I pulled the unknown object up to my field of vision. While I carefully blinked a few times to clear my vision, I raised my free hand up to my eyes to wipe the sleep that lingered from my slumber.

It was then that I realized what the object I was holding truely was.

An egg.

One the size of an average egg of the heart. This egg, I knew, is the home of another guardian character. One that I must take responsibility for...

How will I ever explain it to the Guardians? Afterall, a fifth egg is a pretty big deal.

"OOOH! Amu-chi! Sugoi!" Yaya exclaimed, as her eyes started sparkling in admiration.

Under the gazes of the room's occupants, I started blushing.

"Really, it's not that big of a deal." I tried to convince them otherwise.

"Not at all, Hinamori-san. As expected, you really are amazing."

I truly believed, at that moment, that Tadase was out to embarass me; for I was blushing harder than ever, if possible.

To Amu's right, Rima spoke up for the first time since the beginning of the meeting.

"Amu, show us the egg."

Reluctantly, I started for my pouch, reaching for my fifth egg. Wtih much care, I gently placed the the egg at the center of the table. It was, much like my previous eggs, covered in a plaid pattern. With variations of white, black, and grey. Adorning the egg's middle, where the band of black lay, is a shape similar to a Jester's hat. How befitting for a Joker.

"I wonder what personality will this egg of mine possess, afterall, my previous eggs and guardian characters have been peculiar, if only the slightest bit."

Unconciously, I started biting on my lower lip in concentration. I was thinking really hard on what could my guardian chara possibly be like. Obviously, I had forgotten my dream already.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be wonderful, Amu-chan." Nagihiko assured me.

And with that, the talk about my egg was dismissed. The meeting moved on to more pressing matters like, "What will we have for snacks next week?" and the case of the mysterious "Cafeteria Meat." with the latter of the two being a real mind boggling wonder.

The day ended with the following two conclusions:

a) they'd have a mixture of cookies, crackers, and doughnuts for snacks

AND

b) a mystery concerning food is best left unsolved. Afterall, what you don't know can't hurt you.

All the while, during my trip home, I tried to enjoy myself. Under normal circumstances, Ran and the others would amuse me with their silly antics. But as I tried to pay attention to what they were saying today, I couldn't help but feel that something was amiss, or, would be. Something, ominous, I believed.

Thinking that it was nothing, I shook my head and brushed it off. Dismissing it as something I ate.

_**.:: End of Chapter ::.**_

And that's a wrap people! (: the first chapter is somewhat short, but there was a prologue so, I guess it's fine. So, honestly, what did you guys think? Reviews are appreciated. Constructive criticism is fine. NO FLAMES THANK YOU. I'm painfully aware of how much I suck. * **sigh *** Well then, until next time, thank you for reading! ^^

-Xxhikari-no-tenshixX


	2. Chapter 2: Black Cats

Heyy guys! After a *ahem* minor absence, I have finally made a second chapter. Sorry for the wait! Of course, if I had more reviews, I would've been motivated... *hint* *hint* *nudge **nudge* Oh, and another thing, I think I might need to add an OC every now and then. Just to help the plot along of course. ;D

Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara! in any way... *sigh* but a girl can dream, can't she? (:

**WARNING:** The horrible grammer, spelling, and plot have been known to cause seizures to those who are literate. Readers are to be emotionally prepared before preceeding.

Without further ado, please enjoy. :D

* * *

**+the Joker's Despair+**

+Chapter 2: Black Cats+

**.:: Begin ::.**

"Yo, Amu." a deep voice seemed to say from the branch of a Sakura tree from directly above.

Lifting my gaze upwards, I found myself staring into the eyes of a black cat... technically speaking of course.

"AH!" I let out a shriek of surprise and leapt a few meters back.

As if I didn't have enough problems to worry about!

Seemingly amused, like he always is, Ikuto chucked to my dismay and proceeded to jump from the branch he was hanging on. With much grace, said cat landed in front of me, taunting me wordlessly.

Leaning towards me with his head a mere inch or less away, his breath rolled off my cheeks in a wave of warmth. It was becoming a little hard to grasp what he was saying at this point in time.

"Your mind occupied by something? Something like me perhaps?" he donned a smug smile.

Thoroughly irritated, I swung a fist or two at him in a sorry attempt to decapitate him. With much ease, he avoided the move with a side-step.

"_Damn bastard!"_

I narrowed my eyes at him, a blush still lingered on my cheeks. Of course, this being Ikuto, he didn't stop there. Before I was able to pull my arm back, he grabbed it and pulled me towards him. Berating myself for being so stupid, I asked myself again and again why I didn't think of this earlier because it was so damn obvious! This guy couldn't stop teasing me for a millisecond.

Time seemed to stand still for hours on end, when in reality, it had only been mere seconds.

"You never cease to amuse me, Amu. Did you know that?" he whispered into my ear as he started to loosen his grip.

And in the blink of an eye, he seemed to have disappeared.

It took me a while to completely grasp what had transpired there. All the while, my guardian characters were trying to reach me. The attempts were futile, to say the least.

"_Augh! That jerk has done it again!"_

Of course, I hadn't fully realized what he had done there at the time. What he had accomplished was make me forget all of my worries, if only for a short moment...

"I'm home!"

It really wasn't necessary to announce my arrival. Honestly, it was a force of habit. Ever since the arrival of the new school term, mother became totally absorbed in her work, along with my father. Because of this, both of them often worked overtime.

So naturally, Ami became my responsibility, along with all the work that comes with it. I clean the house up, cook dinner, wash clothes, all of those and more, since mother can't do them anymore. Fortunately for me, Ami is out most of the time. Today, I believe, she's stuck with singing lessons.

Deciding that it was too lonely inside the house, I thought it best to take a stroll outside. Ran, Miki, Suu, and Dia were a little too tired to think it fun so I was the only one making such a trip. As I was exiting my room and heading for the door, the phone started to ring.

"Hello?" I spoke into the receiver.

"Oh, Amu, I'm glad you're back home already." a woman replied back.

"Mother? What is it?" I inquired.

"Listen, Amu, there's something I need to talk to you about right now. Do you think you can walk to the mini coffee shop at the end of the block?"

I could tell by her voice that it was an urgent matter.

"Alright, sure, I'll be there soon."

Feeling my stomach constrict painfully, I knew something bad was heading this way as I made my way down the street.

Not feeling particularly enthusiastic about this, I slowly pushed the door to the mini cafe open.

_"Ring ring."_

The tiny bell from above the door frame signaled my arrival.

Alerted by the noise, my mother turned her head towards me.

"Amu! Over here!" my mother waved me over.

I ordered a hot cup of caramel macchiato as the waiter made his way over to take my order.

"What is it mother? What's wrong?" I bit my lip, bracing myself for the worst, patiently waiting for my mother to speak.

I was silently praying that my mother was just playing a stupid prank, although I highly doubt it. Still, nothing was going to stop me from silently hoping that the "EMERGENCY' was just my dad slipping on a banana peel and braking his back, thus, keeping him home for a few days. That I could handle, in fact, it has already happened quite a few times this past year or so.

"Amu," my mother dropped her gaze from mine and folded her fingers on the table in front of us. "I don't know how to tell you this but, I'll try my best to explain it to you."

My mother seemed really melancholic now. I held her hands in mine, pained to see her like this.

"Your father and I have agreed to a divorce."

My eyes widen by inches and my jaw dropped quite far.

"WHAT?"

My poor mother looked as if she were near tears.

"W-w-what? H-how could it be?" I managed to choke out.

This was a little too much. I love my parents, and they seemed to love each other as well. So why was it that such a thing would happen?

"Y-your," my mother was definitely crying, at this point."your father has had an affair with a woman for a while now. Until recently, I kept my mouth shut for both you and Ami's sake. I thought that maybe, if I waited patiently, your father would drop that woman. But it's become painfully obvious that it won't work out that way. At this point in time though, I'm afraid that it's all for naught. So, I've decided that we'll move to a different city. Where? I'm not sure. But somewhere far away. That's why I've been working so hard, to earn enough to support all three of us. "

Tears were flowing freely from my mother's face, and I suspect that it wouldn't be long before the same would happen to me.

I sat still for quite a while, trying to absorb the information. I didn't even bother saying a polite, "Thank you." to the waiter that placed my coffee on the table. I even let the coffee get cold. All of this were completely trivial to what was going on in my life.

There was only one thing that raced through my mind now...

_"What have I done to deserve this?"_

**.:: End of Chapter ::.**

And that's a wrap people. How do you like the story so far? Reviews are appreciated. Constructive criticism is fine. NO FLAMES THANK YOU. I'm painfully aware of how much I suck. * **sigh ***

-Xxhikari-no-tenshixX


	3. Chapter 3: Colour My World

Oh my god, chapter three! XDD I'm on a roll... I was motivated today so I decided to update. :O

**Disclaimer: **Do not, will not, and won't ever own Shugo Chara! much to my chagrin. D:

I'm compelled by my good conscience to type this little part in. Thank you very much for reviewing for all my chapters, Arrowfoot the Dragon! 3 I guess I'll dedicate this one to you because you're the only one who reviews and has become my motivation for this story. (: Now, having said that, I feel like a review whore. .. I'm sorry! .

And finally, without further ado, I give you chapter three! ^^

------------------------------------------------------ -XOXOXO- ----------------------------------------------------

**+the Joker's Despair+**

+Chapter 3: Colour My World+

**.:: Begin ::.**

The reality of it all finally sank in and I had the impulse to just run. Nowhere in particular, just let my legs carry me as far away as possible. If god would allow, to escape reality as a whole. And I guess that's what I did, since the next thing I knew I was tearing down the streets in a blur.

I never knew I could go that fast. Whenever I trained with Kukai, my body felt like caving in and gave off the message that it wasn't built for running to start with.

Of course, feeling the way I did doesn't exactly mean that I was invincible. Eventually I slowed down to a jog, which led to a slow paced walk. Glancing around, I realized that I was at Seiyo Elementary's soccer field.

" _Of all the places, why this one?"_

I guess there really wasn't much of an explanation. Running blindly was the plan and Seiyo just happened to be there, simply put.

It wasn't till much later that I realized the school's team was practicing there.

Incredibly slow, I know, but at least I managed to notice, what with my being down in the dumps and all.

Sitting down on the grassy sidelines, I slowly contemplated on what transpired just moments before. It was then that I felt the small vibration.

Shifting to my side to reach it, I realized that I had accidently brought my shugo chara pouch and with it, the newly born egg.

"_I wonder what's inside..."_

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a cheery voice, shouting my name from across the field. Curious, I chanced a glance at the person, squinting my eyes so I could see through the afternoon sun.

"_Kukai?!"_

"What are you doing here Amu?" his grin was radiant, like always.

"I could be asking you the same thing." thoroughly shocked, I was surprised that I managed to find my voice.

"I'm was asked by the coach to sub in for him this year. He's apparently busy with another club or something like that."

I gave a faint nod, only having heard snippets of what he had just said.

"What's wrong Amu? Did something happen?"

He cocked and eyebrow at me questioningly. I silently debated on whether or not to tell him.

"The thing is..." I hesitated, still a little uncomfortable with the situation,"my parents are getting a divorce. My mother has also decided to move us somewhere else. Preferably, somewhere very far from here."

I glanced down at my shoes, fidgeting. Everything was just so messed up! When everything finally started to seem peaceful again, this happens.

Staring at Kukai, I noticed that his brows were knit together in a look of concentration. It took a while but the reply eventually came.

"With time, such things do happen..." Kukai had donned a serious look and a frowned was apparent,"But the importance is to make what you can out of it and look on the brightside of things. Of course, if you're determined enough, you could try to patch things up with your parents." he smiled again and patted my head with affection.

"But I'd careful about it if I were you. This isn't something that you should intervene with, if possible."

I nodded my head, listening intently to what he had said.

Fair enough, this is my parents' problem and I, being only an indirect victim of the case, shouldn't intervene with it too much.

But I was born a meddlesome child, and so, I will grasp the future in my own hands, and mould it into something that I have decided that I want.

Sadly though, that might require some assistance that I do not possess...

Carefully picking my way back home, it was then that my egg started to hatch.

------------------------------------------------------ -B R E A K- ----------------------------------------------------

And just like that, out popped my newest shugo chara.

"Amu-chan, I'm *Eri. I'm glad we can finally meet." the polite chara bowed politely.

It was awkward because the girl was dressed in a jester's uniform. Complete with a jester's hat, pointy shoes, and scepter. As depicted in a set of cards.

The way she behaved was very different from the way she dressed. Red and black were the main themes and as such, her hair was similar as well. Black as the base with red streaks highlighting her hair.

"Eri, what kind of shugo chara are you?"

"One who wants to be the pick-me-up for distressed souls... Just like a true jester..." she gave me a smile, albeit, a sad one.

She must've sensed my distress, rolling out like waves from the body..

I cupped my hands around her seemingly frail frame. Such small creatures they are. How was it possible for them to possess so much power?

"Amu-chan, please use my powers to brighten up this dull and gray world."

With a smile, I replied, "Thank you. Please lend me your strength."

**.:: End of Chapter ::.**

------------------------------------------------------ -XOXOXO- -----------------------------------------------------

***ERI (****絵理 ****) - Japanese name meaning "blessed prize."**

Thank you for reading! (: Reviews are greatly appreciated. Constructive criticism is welcomed. And until next time, take care readers! ^^

-Xxhikari-no-tenshixX


End file.
